There’s nothing like clothes shopping to strip away your confidence


One of the few perks of being unemployed is time on your hands to exercise and to eat healthily … armed with my fitbit (I laugh in your face you 10,000 steps per day goal!) and myfitnesspal I am dedicated to losing the 7kg gained living abroad and then some.

Finally after several weeks (actually  months) the weight is starting to go – slowly.

Ok, so 1lb a week is healthy weight-loss right? Well my weight loss must be worthy of a BUPA certificate and presentation. But I won’t complain, it’s the right direction and it’s not been that hard.

Now it’s happened. I HAVE A JOB!! I start next week and so I finally get a week to enjoy not working, to really go for it in the gym and to prepare myself for the new start – instead I crash my hip by overdoing the run – so intensity reduced and food still tracked.

new job new wardrobe

sorry off target – I HAVE A JOB! so that  means – new clothes right? – new job new start. Plus I have to – nothing really fits.

So off I go.

the high of seeing 5kg lost has gone, the high of the new job kicked a bit.

showing my age

OK, I am 40. I have loved clothes and fashion for a long time but my love of trailing round the shops has long gone. but rewind time, back to when I spent 8 hours wandering the shops (age c15) and when I was starting to go clubbing, the aspiration was to be a size 10. A few shops stocked size 8 but they were considered for the petite girls and you actually sympathised as their small frame meant less choice in clothes. but in the main it was acceptable to be a 12 but size 10 was the goal.

jump forward many years and you’re told by the shop assistant that “we stock from size 2 to 14”

SIZE 2??????

that’s smaller than the size zero that caused controversy (UK size 4)

What the hell – and in an outlet park, of course that was the majority of the stock. Now I need to lose weight I know that but these jeans won’t even go over my arm.

Seriously – girls starting out now in their discovery of their style, their fashion are aspiring to what – UK size 2-4?  over the course of 25 years the aspiration has changed that much?? This can’t be healthy can it?

Add to this, I am wearing a 12 to shop, sometimes a lucky 10 and then I try on a 14 and IT WILL NOT DO UP. I move straight to self-loathing and into wondering if the changing room curtain is for sale instead.

Why are designers and retailers now wanting to make us feel like a heffer? Why make us feel like alienated from fashion? No offense to anyone size 16+ but this is my personal mental block.. if I need to wear that I can’t have it .. I have to go without until I can fit back into my clothes. End of.

I was even told recently by a sales assistant in a sports wear shop that trainers are being made smaller now. So they’re even making us feel like big foot!

I got a few bits (baggy tops) and from now I will stick with ASOS. In fairness, their sizes seem to be in line with what I have always worn and my success rate is a good 95% so why in stores am I not so. I can’t cope anymore with real life shopping

Gripes with shopping

Why do I queue  / stand in line for the priviledge of trying on an item and have the store assistant ask “how many items?” only then to count for themselves – I CAN COUNT YOU KNOW! *rage*

the mirrors and lighting – enough said. *Sobs*

Then I line up again to pay, and see the shop assistants look at the line as they proceed to chat, re-fold immaculately folded jumpers, even close a till as I stand there waiting under a heat vent feeling irritated.

Why ask: “did you find everything you needed?” Erm I was browsing and dangerous question.. majority of your customers do not NEED what they’re buying today but just WANT it – there is a difference. They’re having a short term high of buying – you wont see the crash as the credit card mounts up, or they’re rewarding themself for a tough week at work. Need isn’t the driver here.

So, I have new clothes but feeling confident for next week? Next stop – hairdressers – maybe that will make me feel better?




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