So here I am .. 40 and not only far from any image I may have had but in one of the hardest times of my life so far. Maybe I am right in saying the hardest.
So – whilst I have never had a plan and never really thought about my life goals – (I put it down to fate which apparently has a blindness when it comes to me .. well fate .. **** you!) here I am:
- jobless (this has been the toughest element so far)
- single (as always but Miss Independent really WLTM her significant other)
- heavier than a year ago (blame Jamaica .. blog to come on that adventure)
All of this has made me a version of myself that I don’t know.
My resilience has been tested, my optimism has gone and I have found myself on the lowest ebbs.
BUT I WILL GET THROUGH and life WILL BEGIN AT 40. It has to and this is about the journey ahead.
This is where I take stock.. learn what I want and I am going to get it
I will be sharing the journey, the tools that help, the war stories on the interview front, the dating disasters, the fitness, the life goals and importantly the life lessons that I have lived by (you know the captions that are shared by millions on facebook and we all like and you feel a bit smug that you already operate in this way?!) which have turned out to be utter bullshit.
I can’t give in even though days I want to. I spent Saturday on my own.. I needed to wallow in my fog but now I am back fighting and I will get back to not just the old me… but a better version of me…